- by Sophie Pryer
What to Wear to a Funeral: A Complete Guide
Attending a funeral, whether for a family member, friend, or colleague, is an emotional and challenging experience. In such moments, deciding what to wear is often the last thing on your mind. However, choosing the appropriate funeral attire is important, as it reflects respect for the deceased and their loved ones.
In this article, we’ll guide you through the appropriate funeral dress codes, ensuring you can focus on paying your respects with confidence and peace of mind.
Traditional clothing for a Funeral:
Traditional funeral attire has historically been based on formal, black clothing – a colour long associated with bereavement and mourning. This tradition dates back to the Roman Empire, when families of the bereaved would wear dark-coloured togas to mark the passing of a family member. Over time, the colour black became even more prominent, especially during the Victorian era, when Queen Victoria famously dressed exclusively in black following the death of Prince Albert, as a sign of respect and mourning. Since then, it has become customary in many Western cultures to wear black during periods of mourning, symbolising respect for the deceased and recognition of their loss.
Funeral Attire for Women
Below, we have outlined traditional funeral attire for women;
Suitable Clothing options for women
A mid-length to long black dress is considered appropriate for women, often paired with black tights if needed for modesty. Alternatively, a black suit with a darker-coloured plain shirt would also be acceptable. A skirt or trouser suit is suitable, but for shorter skirts, it is recommended to wear black tights.
In colder months, you may wish to wear a cardigan or jumper to the service. Ensure your choice of sweater compliments your chosen outfit, keeping to darker colours and an appropriate length.
Women’s Shoe choices
Footwear should be smart, black, with mid-to-low heels, and closed-toe. Shoes should also be comfortable, especially if you expect to stand for long periods of time. It is courteous and respectful to ensure shoes are cleaned and polished before attending the funeral service.
Additionally, consider the terrain of the service venue. A flat heel may be more practical if you’ll be outdoors or walking on uneven ground. Avoid trainers and flip-flops, as these are generally not considered appropriate funeral attire.
Optional Accessories for women
- Hair: Hair should be neatly styled, with minimal fuss. A simple, dark-coloured hat can be considered, but avoid dramatic hairstyles or drastic changes to your usual appearance.
- Mourning veil: Some close female relatives or friends may choose to wear a black lace veil, commonly known as a mourning veil, to partially cover their face, offering a level of comfort and privacy during the service.
- Make-up: Keep make-up simplistic and minimal for a funeral. If you wear mascara, it is advised to opt for a waterproof product, as tears may be shed.
- Bag or pockets: You’ll want to ensure your belongings are safely stored during the service. We advise that you carry a small, plain black bag or use your pockets if they are suitable in size. We recommend you take a pack of tissues with you and a pen, in the case there are memorial cards or a condolence book circulated. You will also likely be provided with a funeral order of service, which you will likely wish to keep safely stored away following the service.
- Jewellery: Keep jewellery to a minimum, avoiding any bold, colourful, statement pieces. If you do wish to incorporate a small amount of colour into your funeral outfit, consider the favourite colour of the deceased, or include their birthstone colour as a sign of remembrance and respect.
Funeral Attire for Men
Below, we have outlined traditional funeral attire for men;
Suitable Clothing options for Men
A smart black suit is considered appropriate funeral attire for men. The suit should be plain, well-fitted and should be worn with a clean white or dark-coloured shirt, along with a plain tie.
An alternative option would be a pair of smart dark-coloured trousers, accompanied by a plain dark shirt and a dark-coloured, smart jumper.
Men’s Shoe choices
When attending a funeral, shoes should be smart, dark-coloured and clean. It is courteous and respectful to ensure shoes are polished before attending a funeral service.
Trainers and flip-flops are not considered appropriate funeral attire.
Optional Accessories for Men
- Hair: Hair should be tidy and well-maintained. Facial hair should be well groomed and styled where appropriate.
- Jewellery: Jewellery should be kept to a minimum, consider wearing a smartwatch to compliment your suit.
- Socks: Often overlooked, consider if your socks will be visible as part of your outfit and dress accordingly. Ensure to wear plain, dark-coloured socks, should there be a chance of visibility during the service.
- Tissues: Even if you do not anticipate that you will need a tissue for yourself, funerals are extremely emotional, and you never want to be caught unprepared. It is also courteous to have a tissue to hand for others in attendance, should your support be needed.
Funeral Attire for Children
Children or kids should be dressed in conservative, dark-coloured clothing. Whilst it is not necessary to dress children in solely black items, keep their outfits simple, neat and of a darker colour such as black, navy, brown or grey.
Traditional funeral attire for girls
Girls would traditionally be dressed in a simple dress, with tights and a smart pair of dark-coloured shoes. Hair should be tidy, and hair accessories should be kept to a minimum, a simple clip, band or bow would suffice.
Traditional funeral attire for boys
A smart, dark-coloured suit is the traditional attire for boys to a funeral. However, a pair of smart dark-coloured trousers, a shirt and jumper combination would be equally as acceptable. Hair should be suitably styled.
Cultural and Religious Considerations
Different cultures and religions have varying beliefs on what constitutes appropriate funeral attire. While many Western customs adhere to black clothing, it’s important to be mindful of the traditions of the bereaved family.
- Christian Funerals: Black is traditionally the colour worn to funeral services, however some may prefer attendees to wear light-coloured clothing, to symbolise hope and eternal life.
- Buddhist Funerals: In Buddhist cultures, white is the traditional colour of mourning. Whilst black and darker colours are generally deemed acceptable, the colour white symbolises purity and grieving.
- Hindu Funerals: In Hindu cultures, white is the colour traditionally worn as funeral attire. Keeping the attire simple and avoiding bright colours, elaborate patterns or embellishments.
- Jewish Funerals: The traditional colours to wear to a Jewish funeral service would be black or darker shades. Men traditionally wear a kippah. It is expected and respectful for arms and legs to be covered by all at a Jewish funeral service.
- Muslim Funerals: Muslim funeral attire consists of muted colour tones. Modesty is extremely important, arms and legs should be covered and women should wear headscarves.
Importance of Respect and Modesty
Regardless of the type of service or cultural background, respect and modesty should always guide your choice of funeral attire. No matter what type of ceremony or service you are attending, you should respect the values of the bereaved and their families, you should dress appropriately, and you should do your upmost to accommodate their beliefs, religion, and cultural differences, in what you choose to wear to the funeral service.
If you’re unsure about specific customs, seek guidance from the bereaved family or community members to ensure your attire is appropriate.
Seasonal Consideration
Whilst being smart and respectful is vital when considering your funeral attire, it is also essential to take into consideration your own comfort and that is where slight seasonal alterations may be required.
What to wear to a funeral in the winter seasons:
Funerals are incredibly emotional events and when emotions run high, senses are heightened, and you may find yourself feeling very vulnerable to the elements. During colder months it is important that you ensure to keep warm by wearing extra layers, incorporating a coat, scarf and even gloves into your choice of outfit, especially if you will be spending a long amount of time outside. Rain is another factor to consider, you may do yourself and others a great service by ensuring you attend fully equipped with an umbrella. The umbrella should be black or of dark colour, and please remember to be considerate when using the umbrella during the service, so not to block the view of other mourners in attendance.
What to wear to a funeral in the summer season:
The warmer months may see you wearing lighter clothing choices, opting for a light-weight cotton fabric. It may also serve you well to be equipped with sunglasses and sunscreen if in attendance of an outdoor service. In the warmest days of the year, it may be appropriate to take a sun umbrella to offer you protection from the sun.
Exceptions
In this article we have outlined our top tips and guidance on what is considered acceptable as traditional funeral attire, however, with that in mind there are exceptions.
In more recent years, funeral services have become more frequently referred to as a celebration of life. For events such as these, families may make special requests that attendees do not follow tradition, but they wear bright and bold outfits, offering a more relaxed, uplifting atmosphere. The families may ask you to incorporate a specific colour, or attend wearing a specific item of clothing.
In these circumstances, it is important to follow the wishes of the bereaved families and base your funeral attire around their requests. After all, funeral services should be personalised and designed to celebrate and pay tribute to the life of the deceased, and that may very well be reflected in the funeral attire set out in your invitation.
General Guidelines for Funeral Attire
What Not to Wear to a Funeral?
Below, we have outlined all things considered Dos and Don’ts for appropriate funeral attire. This list has been created based on traditional views and beliefs on what to wear to a funeral, and you should use this as guidance when considering your funeral attire.
Do’s | Don’ts |
|---|---|
Do consider the views and wishes of the bereaved families, including any cultural or religious differences, and taking into consideration any specific requests. | Don’t wear bright, loud, overstated clothing items.
Unless specifically requested by the family.
|
Do dress modestly and wear appropriate clothing items for the season. | Don’t wear short, revealing clothing items. |
Do wear clean, polished, appropriate footwear. | Don’t wear trainers, flip-flops or excessively high-heels. |
List of traditional funeral attire for Women
Spring / Summer | Autumn / Winter |
|---|---|
Smart mid-length or long dress. Alternatively, smart trousers and blouse combination.
| Smart mid-length or long dress, with tights and a cardigan.
Alternatively, smart trousers, blouse and cardigan or jumper combination. |
Appropriate footwear, cleaned and polished – closed toe. | Appropriate footwear, cleaned and polished – closed toe. |
Minimalistic make-up. | Minimalistic make-up. |
Sunglasses, if outdoors. | Coat, scarf and gloves if required. |
Sun cream, if outdoors. | Umbrella if required. |
List of traditional funeral attire for Men
Spring / Summer | Autumn / Winter |
|---|---|
Smart suit, or trouser and shirt combination. | Smart suit, or trouser, shirt and jumper combination. |
Appropriate footwear, cleaned and polished. | Appropriate footwear, cleaned and polished. |
Sunglasses, if outdoors. | Coat, scarf and gloves if required. |
Sun cream, if outdoors. | Umbrella if required. |
FAQs:
- Do I have to wear black to a funeral?
Black is the traditional funeral attire colour for many cultures, and will be the colour of choice for many mourners. However, unless the family have specifically requested you to wear black, there is no set rule on wearing black to a funeral. Alternative colour options would be dark grey, dark blue, deep green, deep purple and darker shades of brown.
Unless you have been instructed otherwise, it is advised to wear darker items of clothing and steer away from bright, colourful, patterned garments.
- Can I wear jeans to a funeral?
Traditionally, jeans are not generally considered appropriate for a funeral service. That being said, very dark jeans may be appropriate paired with a shirt and smart blazer, for a more informal funeral service. There are also certain exceptions which can be considered, such as the family requesting attendees to wear jeans.
Jeans with tears in should never be considered acceptable, unless specifically requested by the family.
- What are the rules for dressing for a funeral?
There are 2 main rules you should follow;
Respect the values, beliefs and religions of the bereaved family and all those in attendance.
Adhere to any special requests made by the family at the announcement of the funeral.
- Can I wear white to a funeral?
This is dependent on the views and beliefs of the bereaved and their family. If you wish to wear white to a funeral, you should consider their cultural views and beliefs, and seek guidance from the family if you are unsure as to if wearing white this is appropriate.
- Can I wear trainers to a funeral?
Wearing trainers to a funeral is generally not considered appropriate, especially for traditional or formal services. Funerals typically call for respectful, understated attire, and trainers are seen as too casual for such an occasion. The preferred footwear is usually black or dark-coloured shoes that are smart, polished, and either closed-toe or low-heeled for comfort.
However, there are exceptions, such as if the family of the deceased has requested a more casual or relaxed dress code, or if the funeral is outdoors and the terrain makes formal shoes impractical. The rule is, if you’re unsure, it’s always best to err on the side of formality or ask someone close to the family for guidance.
